Last week’s blog, Two Ways to go From Stuck to Unstuck, dealt with the topic of resistance masquerading as confusion and the tricks our minds play on us in order to keep us STUCK and prevent change. It emphasized that we need to surrender to these mind tricks, letting them play out, and then listen to our inner voice. Each of us has a wise and knowledgeable inner voice that knows the next step to take, regardless of how confused you may think you are.
Sounds simple, right? All you have to do is look inside. Your inner voice clears the confusion and you will know what your next step is, and be able to take it. It really can be that simple.
But for some, change still doesn’t come. What should you do if, despite the clarity, lack of confusion and clear next steps, you still don’t move into the change?
We have all heard the saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results?” We are creatures of habit: Habits of thought, habits of emotion and habits of behavior. Habits can be helpful. We don’t have to expend much energy thinking, doing or feeling something new or different. We know what to expect and that provides us with a sense of comfort and familiarity. Often, at least initially, we may not even realize that we have behavioral, emotional or mental default patterns that repeat over and over.
Are you familiar with that feeling of being stuck? I know I have often found myself there!
That felling comes when you want to make a change in one or more areas of your life, but can’t seem to do it and you don’t know why. It can be stressful not knowing which way to turn or what to do next. The good thing is there are only two reasons for your “stuckness” and you can overcome both of them.
Many people who look for a coach indicate they are looking for some other form of guidance. They cite “confusion” as the thing that keeps them stuck. They come looking for clarity. With good coaching, they do usually gain clarity about what’s blocking them and learn what to do to change it. However, most don’t really take the action to get unstuck. They only make the changes they need to make. Until they release the resistance they stay in a state of confusion.
What is resistance? It is the term used to describe a state of non-acceptance about someone or something in your life. When it comes to being stuck, the “someone” is some aspect of yourself and the “something” is a shift in perception that would open you up to change. You can tell when you are in resistance because there is a story attached. The story is a little game the mind plays with you so that you remain “safe.” That story is a rationalization to support staying stuck and avoiding change.
As you are probably know, your body pays a very high cost when you’re under stress. Numerous medical studies site the toll stress takes upon your health. But before you ever get to the point where your health begins to suffer, stress undermines you in so many subtle and debilitating ways. You’re not able to perform at your best. Your productivity suffers. Your relationships suffer. Your creativity suffers. You miss the opportunities to deepen your satisfaction with life and your overall success.
What price are you’re paying for the stress that you’re experiencing right now?
You may feel that you’re managing ok because your body hasn’t broken down yet, but are you really getting all of the meaning from your life that you want? Or are you just surviving?
When you let stress go on too long, your ability to make solid decisions gets hampered, and you begin to lose trust in yourself and your choices. You get stuck in a stress and self-doubt cycle. Your life-force is drained and your emotional, spiritual and mental fuel tank is never quite full. And when your energy reserves run even just a little bit low, you begin to get out of touch with yourself and what’s best for you because your judgement is impaired.