I am often asked, “What do you do?”
Most people get the idea of coaching when you play a sport league or watch one of the major leagues. But when you say, “I am a High Performance Coach and I help ambitious professionals and entrepreneurs get to their NEXT level of business and personal wellbeing faster than what they can do on their own,” folks often just nod their heads and pretend they understand. I admit, it is a mouthful. However, it’s also what I do. In fact, it’s what I love to do!
Consider your business, your career, and your life. That’s the “game” you are playing. Fort that game, I am your coach. We may not wear the same jerseys or uniforms. I certainly don’t use a whistle to get your attention and you most likely will not pull a muscle when we train. But we share the same goal of you winning! You winning at your game! Your win is why I do this thing called “Coaching.”
Recently, I was recognized as an International Premier Success Coach by eWomenNetwork. As part of that recognition, I have the honor of helping high achieving and powerful professionals envision, clarify, and establish personal and professional mindsets, habits and action to achieve their goals. I like to think of myself as a problem solver, helping you focus your mindset, efforts and actions on what will deliver you the most as quickly as possible.
Last week’s blog, Two Ways to go From Stuck to Unstuck, dealt with the topic of resistance masquerading as confusion and the tricks our minds play on us in order to keep us STUCK and prevent change. It emphasized that we need to surrender to these mind tricks, letting them play out, and then listen to our inner voice. Each of us has a wise and knowledgeable inner voice that knows the next step to take, regardless of how confused you may think you are.
Sounds simple, right? All you have to do is look inside. Your inner voice clears the confusion and you will know what your next step is, and be able to take it. It really can be that simple.
But for some, change still doesn’t come. What should you do if, despite the clarity, lack of confusion and clear next steps, you still don’t move into the change?
We have all heard the saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results?” We are creatures of habit: Habits of thought, habits of emotion and habits of behavior. Habits can be helpful. We don’t have to expend much energy thinking, doing or feeling something new or different. We know what to expect and that provides us with a sense of comfort and familiarity. Often, at least initially, we may not even realize that we have behavioral, emotional or mental default patterns that repeat over and over.
Are you familiar with that feeling of being stuck? I know I have often found myself there!
That felling comes when you want to make a change in one or more areas of your life, but can’t seem to do it and you don’t know why. It can be stressful not knowing which way to turn or what to do next. The good thing is there are only two reasons for your “stuckness” and you can overcome both of them.
Many people who look for a coach indicate they are looking for some other form of guidance. They cite “confusion” as the thing that keeps them stuck. They come looking for clarity. With good coaching, they do usually gain clarity about what’s blocking them and learn what to do to change it. However, most don’t really take the action to get unstuck. They only make the changes they need to make. Until they release the resistance they stay in a state of confusion.
What is resistance? It is the term used to describe a state of non-acceptance about someone or something in your life. When it comes to being stuck, the “someone” is some aspect of yourself and the “something” is a shift in perception that would open you up to change. You can tell when you are in resistance because there is a story attached. The story is a little game the mind plays with you so that you remain “safe.” That story is a rationalization to support staying stuck and avoiding change.
December can be a really enjoyable and joyful time of year, a time when we reconnect with family and friends. There are lots of opportunities to celebrate, catch up and be with those that mean most to you. The holidays give us all the opportunity to share heartfelt thoughts and feelings of gratitude, love and togetherness.
Unfortunately, it can also be an emotional rollercoaster and for some be the most stressful time of year. I’m certain some of you can relate. Do you see yourself in any of these situations?
- Running around buying the perfect gifts, readying the house for an evening (or week) of entertaining, or traveling to visit with family and friends.
- Feeling sad, lonely or alone, missing someone you’ve lost this year, (through death or divorce) or stuck a distance away because you can’t afford the time or money to visit.
- Feeling obligated to go places and spend time with people you’d rather not be around (some of whom might be family!).
For many of us the holidays include all of the above and perhaps even more!
But there is a way to get the most out of your holiday and the end of yet another year. Choose to be present with it all. Live it consciously and with awareness.
Setting positive expectations every day is like taking a vitamin or mixing up a nondairy, protein-powered fruit smoothie with kale! It is a great practice if you do it on a regular basis.
When setting those clear and positive expectations, there are three areas on which you should focus that will positively impact your day!
- SET POSITIVE EXPECTATIONS FOR YOURSELF
Of all of the people in your life, it is most important for you to have positive expectations of yourself. After all, you actually have control over setting those (and fulfilling them too!). Remember that well used phrase, “You can’t control other people’s behavior, but you can control your own!”
Innumerable studies and articles show that those who get ahead in life have positive expectations for themselves. Successful CEO’s, leaders, athletes and parents focus on setting and fulfilling positive expectations of themselves on a daily basis.
Here are three common traits or thought patterns of the most successful and fulfilled people.
I was invited tone a guest on the Social Monday podcast, “THE” podcast for Social Media Marketers.
Social Monday’s co-hosts, Bob Turner and Jason Goff, provide tips and information for small businesses about social media and online marketing.
In this interview, I provide some coaching tips and give advice for social media marketers who face professional challenges within their organizations. A recent survey of 600 social media marketers uncovered their frustrations about not being a more integral part of their marketing teams. Social media marketing is still relatively new, and many businesses have yet to embrace it fully.
The findings include feelings of not being heard and not getting the “Buy-in” needed in the workplace. Social media professionals also feel stress over being in an ever-changing profession in an increasingly dynamic world of information and technology.
As you are probably know, your body pays a very high cost when you’re under stress. Numerous medical studies site the toll stress takes upon your health. But before you ever get to the point where your health begins to suffer, stress undermines you in so many subtle and debilitating ways. You’re not able to perform at your best. Your productivity suffers. Your relationships suffer. Your creativity suffers. You miss the opportunities to deepen your satisfaction with life and your overall success.
What price are you’re paying for the stress that you’re experiencing right now?
You may feel that you’re managing ok because your body hasn’t broken down yet, but are you really getting all of the meaning from your life that you want? Or are you just surviving?
When you let stress go on too long, your ability to make solid decisions gets hampered, and you begin to lose trust in yourself and your choices. You get stuck in a stress and self-doubt cycle. Your life-force is drained and your emotional, spiritual and mental fuel tank is never quite full. And when your energy reserves run even just a little bit low, you begin to get out of touch with yourself and what’s best for you because your judgement is impaired.
Believe it or not, words have power. The words you use, both when you speak and when you think, not only lift you up but can also bring you down and keep you from achieving.
The words we use in our thoughts can be self-limiting and make us feel negative about yourself. They become your constant companion, bouncing through your head, keeping you up at all hours of the night. Self-limiting thoughts get in your way throughout the day and can hold you back.
Those thoughts, beliefs, emotions and subsequent actions generated by these thoughts become behaviors. But they can be changed!
Just imagine the freedom and ease you would feel, the sleep and relaxation you would achieve. You would be able to experience a calmness in a busy and hectic world. How would you feel if there actually was a system to effortlessly switch off those thoughts? Just picture how joyous life would be without worrying, losing sleep, experiencing stress and being in overwhelm.
Doesn’t that sound great?